I Am Searchable

According to my blog stats for January 2012, the top three searches that generated my blog were:

1. Barney and Friends
2. Tibetan Nudist
3. Star Trek camel toe

This sounds like a party to me.

Ghost In The Machine

Forget the real psycho-babble meaning of ghost in the machine. Duality. The soul. Allow me to personalize. To me this means that there is always going to be that nagging feeling that there is something terribly wrong with me and that cancer has come back and I will die in two days. Always. The ghost in my machine. But then, do I really believe in ghosts? Maybe, maybe not. It's always a possibility. But on the glass half full side...

Today is my five year cancerversary. I made it! I am now considered cured! And I am back to being me [aside from some physical differences]. Yay me! And I feel that I will never again publicly celebrate this - the end. Fin. I am moving on, officially, this time.

Alone In A Forest

Taken by my brother from another mother, Dan. This reminds me of the song by the Cure "A Forest".

"Come closer and see, see into the trees, find the girl, while you can..."

In Retrospect

Here I am at work and not working because it is the last work day before New Year's Eve. I am reflecting on this past year. I had high hopes for 2011, but alas, it just...wasn't at all what I thought it would be.

I have been wanting to write about different things that have happened, but with the dysfunctuality of my iPad and my only other computer at the moment at work, things just kinda got pushed aside. I am more likely to write about current events when they are current. The longer I wait, the less important, or the more troubling, they seem. So writing about a close family member's death has gone through many rewrites in my mind, each with it's own special emotional outburst, but none have ever made it from that dark place to my fingers and onto the keyboard. Writing about what happened today at the grocery store or at the gym seems easier, but painfully trivial. And really, all that has really been happening is the glorious rebuilding of my home, which has taken me to new levels of patience, and made me realize that no matter how right you think you are about something, doubt is the monster hiding under your bed ready to devour you whole.

2012 is gonna be better. Well, at least until the planet Earth meets it's demise and the Mayan aliens come and gather us up and make us into human corn tortillas. But then again, Godzilla and Mothra and Lady Gaga will probably team up to beat their alien asses and send them back into outer space. Yeah.

Image reblogged from retrogasm

It's A Drag, Lee Groban

Oh Lee Groban. The first time I met you was at the Gingerman Tavern. You were sitting alone in the corner at a table that sat four. I wanted that table. I was a lazy drunk. You were intimidating and gentle and observant and accommodating and I sat down next to you and we talked and drank until closing. And then I would see you all over town, at all the art openings - your reasons were different than mine, in that you were socializing with friends and I was merely there for the ambiance and free red wine.

Oh! The red wine! I will never forget at Around the Coyote running into you and upon hugging, you planted a very wet kiss on my cheek and as you pulled away, I noticed your mustache and lips and teeth dyed red and it made me laugh and I asked, hey, where can I get some of that?

You would always greet me by asking me "Are you Elizabeth Stock from 1542 West Waveland?". Everytime. Even if I had just seen you the week before. You gave me a poem written so small I could barely read it. And you were awesome. Thank you for inspiring me.

RIP Lee Groban - 20 March 1947 - 09 December 2011 - Gentle soul.

Top photo:
:::"Lee Groban" - Platinum-Palladium Photograph, 1999::: by Elizabeth Stock - All Rights Reserved

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