We Used To Wait

Yes, this is a picture of me holding a catfish. Yes, I do have a mullet. No, I did not have an eating disorder at the age of seven, I was just a really picky eater.

When I was a kid, my parents owned a resort that was steps from a lake. We had a boat dock and boats. We went fishing a lot. I could clean a fish with my bare hands.

My parents liked to adult fish. Meaning, they would get up at 4:30am and be out to the fishing holes no later than 5:30am. This was just a bit too early for me, but I was forced to go, because, quite frankly, who the hell can find a babysitter at that godforsaken hour of the day?

I was not a very good fisher. I could not sit still. Nor could I keep quiet. My parents attempts to teach me patience were futile.

Which is why I hate selling real estate. Here are the similarities:

• There is excitement as you bait the hook, artistically positioning the bait in an appetizing way with which to attract your prey [staging your house, putting flowers out, making it smell pretty, cleaning out the cat box]


• Then you throw the line into the water, and wait [listing home on the MLS, waiting by the phone for the calls for showings to come in]


• Occasionally you get little nibbles, the kind that make you fantasize about the size of the fish [people come, act interested, you anticipate a bidding war]


• You check bait, it is gone, you re-bait [time goes by, you lower your price]


• This all repeats over and over and over again.


• You start to judge the nibbles by how powerful they are, you start to will the fish to take the bait [a second showing! awesome! please buy my house please buy my house...]


• And finally, after two years, you are able to bring a fish out of water. It's not quite big enough to feed your family, but it will do nicely [YAY UNDER CONTRACT!]

We finally sold our beautiful home and it is bittersweet.