Random Thoughts Regarding My Place Of Bodily Worship

a. There are weird people who I do not recognize ever being in my gym before, walking around talking to themselves, and dressed in what appears to be discount gym apparel. I think they are CIA.

b. While I will be old someday, even then I will not ever prance around the locker room naked. Never ever.

c. Speaking of locker rooms, is it wrong to have a crush on the post-op tranny who hangs out in the women's locker room?

d. Girls, when doing exercises in which you bend and stretch in very close quarters, please, PLEASE wear tighter workout pants. And if you are low on cash and only have baggy shorts, at the very least, PLEASE wear underwear. Same goes for guys. Seriously.

e. A shower before you workout to wash off the morning stink is much appreciated. And trust me, you do stink.

f. I find it mildly amusing that every song in my ipod's workout play list, affectionately titled "Move Yo Fat Ass", has the "F" word. And I'm not talking "fat" or "french fry". Although, they do go together. Like a horse and carriage.

g. Lastly, farting is NOT ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR during yoga. You're not the friggin' swami, dude.

Dang, all this thinking and I need cookie.