In Retrospect

Here I am at work and not working because it is the last work day before New Year's Eve. I am reflecting on this past year. I had high hopes for 2011, but alas, it just...wasn't at all what I thought it would be.

I have been wanting to write about different things that have happened, but with the dysfunctuality of my iPad and my only other computer at the moment at work, things just kinda got pushed aside. I am more likely to write about current events when they are current. The longer I wait, the less important, or the more troubling, they seem. So writing about a close family member's death has gone through many rewrites in my mind, each with it's own special emotional outburst, but none have ever made it from that dark place to my fingers and onto the keyboard. Writing about what happened today at the grocery store or at the gym seems easier, but painfully trivial. And really, all that has really been happening is the glorious rebuilding of my home, which has taken me to new levels of patience, and made me realize that no matter how right you think you are about something, doubt is the monster hiding under your bed ready to devour you whole.

2012 is gonna be better. Well, at least until the planet Earth meets it's demise and the Mayan aliens come and gather us up and make us into human corn tortillas. But then again, Godzilla and Mothra and Lady Gaga will probably team up to beat their alien asses and send them back into outer space. Yeah.

Image reblogged from retrogasm